Mar. 15th, 2008

writing, I has it

Zacharias/Terry drabbley bit )

It's just past ten so I might go to bed pretty soon.

Feb. 21st, 2008

Ah, writing

I edited and posted my [info]hp_wankfest piece, and showed it to Raisa, which made her want to write, which made me want to write, so I did the Justin+Zacharias=Independence challenge drabble. *sighs* *pets them*

I've also done some more sewing, and I lugged my mattress back down this morning so I have a real bed again. Sleeping on the floor was actually fun though - as I'd predicted, it felt like camping out. My muscles ache a bit from moving so much furniture so quickly yesterday though - I was/will be paid for two and a half hours, but it took an hour and a quarter, including dismantling the bed, so that's not too bad. I'm aiming to not spend any unnecessary money, and if I stick to that, then on my biobirthday I'll be getting myself a present.

I have also given in to pleas and joined a Marauder era game. I retrofitted my Liam Vaisey that sadly never got into play, renamed him Octavius Pepper, gave him a job as a hitwizard and got all up in Blurred Lines. Esh also has a hitwizard, Aubrey, who is Pepper's new ickle wee partner. He is totally Pepper's puppy. And Raisa plays Emmeline and Claire and Ashley are both there, and Mango which I assume is the same Mango I've played with before, but not so extensively that we're all jumping on each other. It's more a sort of in passing thing. But the new Remus player also seems exceptionally cool. In general, I'm pretty optimistic about it - it's also much more active than DD, though Neph and Victoria have been getting all girl-talky over there and it's fantastic. And Ruth wants to RP with me so we have to decide what to log. I'm quite tempted by Harry+Zacharias snark, to be honest.

Anyway. I have to finish making my bed - I put the electric blanket on the mattress, and the fitted sheet, and that's it so far.

Feb. 19th, 2008

PBs and crap

So a while ago when the alternate PB meme was going around, I said I didn't have an alternate for Zacharias. Well I do now. It would depend on the icons I took - some of them I wouldn't use for an Ex-type Zacharias, but one where his mother died earlier and he was raised by dear Daddy? Totally. That's what I've been playing at DD and he's noticeably more conservative etc than Ex-Zach.

Anyway, I present Adam Rickitt:

My sister's gone up to Wellington for her year at Vic studying crim psych. I'm not actually sure whether she ended up leaving boxes here. I will have to ask someone because I want to pilfer her books.

Jan. 8th, 2008


I am basically awesome, you guys. The manager, Michelle, is really nice, and she bought me hot chocolate and said she's had depression before too, and later she said I was basically her ideal candidate. Assuming my reference check doesn't go completely awfully I should get the job. *fingers crossed*

Not to bore you all but I just walked to the shops and on the way home I had an idea of something else Zacharias could do after the war. He has this whole quiet guilt thing about buggering off from the final battle which is part of why he's going into wards (though he was doing it anyway), but, if his father died and he inherited the big-arse house, or even if he had the money he might've got from his mother and bought a different house, he could totally run a sort of halfway house for people. In a very casual way... you come in if you need a place to stay, you pay whatever you want for costs, there'd be a big library, a room where people could have casual group therapy (lol), etc. I can kind of see him doing it on the condition that he gets to call them on their bull and challenge them to overcome their problems. I... can kind of see him liking that.

Jan. 7th, 2008


I have a job interview in, like, thirteen hours. I have to have a shower, because if I have one in the morning my hair will probably still be damp when I get there, and I very clearly remember that lady in charge of the IN2WRK course last year saying never turn up to an interview with wet hair. I'm trying to remember what else she said.

I want to work. If I do not work, I will go crazy. I will sit in the corner of my room gibbering madly and rewatching all my dvds over and over until I can recite every single one of them word for word.

On the other hand, I'm slightly terrified of actually being given any kind of responsibility that I'm actually getting paid for after all this time.

By the way, I'm fairly certain that Oscar Wilde was completely mad for young, extremely attractive, faintly feminine, pouty, petulant, egocentric, spoiled, fanciful prettyboys. I can say this because there is one in everything he ever wrote and they are always the object of much passion from an older male character. I got the idea that Zacharias would like Oscar Wilde's work on a whim, but I'm really starting to see merit in it, considering that he is a young, extremely attractive, faintly feminine, pouty, petulant, egocentric, spoiled, fanciful prettyboy.

I should take my medicine before I forget. Somebody please kill me. I am going to shower now.

Dec. 22nd, 2007

Yeah, okay, so I permed [info]zacharias_smith. The ads were annoying me and I wanted 50~ more icons. Now just waiting for [info]disjecta_membra to open, which should hopefully be in the next few days.

I am exploring whole new levels of the word 'boredom'. That's the trouble with insomnia, you just have so many hours in the day to fill. Which in my case means reading a lot of books that I've already read several times and watching a lot of movies and tv shows that I've already seen several times.

Dec. 10th, 2007

Thank god for packratting.

Ex-sangs, I found it. :D This post makes me feel all sorts of things that I can't put into words. Playing Zacharias, and all the research I did, the length of time I spent putting myself into his shoes and thinking about his beliefs, are the main reason I'm now interested in Judaism.

my favourite RP post, under the cut )

Dec. 5th, 2007

Things we couldn't do on LJ

I found some old RP logs - the dates on them are April, 2006, so going on two years old. They're from an AU game in which Sirius was a) alive, and b) the caretaker at Hogwarts - Filch's job, essentially. (And Harry was Tom Riddle's adopted son, a Slytherin, and a "friend" (sort of) of my very twisted and fucked up Zacharias v 2.0 or thereabouts.) Regulus was also alive and teaching Charms after the death of Flitwick, and had a bit of a fond spot for Zach. But yes, note that Sirius was on staff at the educational facility in which Zacharias was enrolled.

And they were shagging. Madly. And to cover it up, they were telling everyone, quite loudly, that they were shagging madly. Which was really quite brilliant because everyone stopped believing them after a couple of days, especially Regulus.

The funny thing is that even after Zach got back with Cedric and Sirius got with Remus, Sirius quite happily slept in bed with Zacharias.

Sirius got under the covers then reached down and hooked his hands under Zach's arms. He pulled him up to rest against his chest, made sure he had pillows for support and then tucked the blanket around him, before folding an arm around him. He didn't feel like playing the 'slowly wiggling into position' game Zach so enjoyed. "Face it. You take me for granted."

"Course I do. Ev'ry time I turn around you're there."

And that, my friends, is the origin of one of my most fucked up obscure pairings.

Oct. 24th, 2007

Sacrifices Arc babbling

lol. Zacharias' great-grandmother was a Veela. And I'm putting my knuts in for future Zacharias/Hermione, which is incidentally one of my fond indulgences. (eta, before I post this, that after reading a few more paragraphs it's admittedly quite obvious. But I'd been considering it before this scene and they haven't interacted that much before, aside from the, "I can cast Protego perfectly." "Good for you!" "And I could teach someone." bit in book... three? I think three. Which was really cute.)

Of course [Draco] had to turn around and answer that. Zacharias grinned, content. He was taking someone who definitely deserved it down a peg or two, Potter had listened to him and might stop acting like a toy, and Hermione was giggling behind her hand at his insults.

All was right with the world.

I do think that the background is sort of getting TOO detailed - if most of this stuff was true it would show up in the books, rather like the Ravenclaw social system in The Silver Swan (which I don't think was ever finished), but it's fun to read anyway. You can quite easily read this story without having much/any background knowledge of HP at all and it's a good read just on its own merits, but it's not something that I can quite see meshing with the world that Jo presents to us. I mean, aside from the obvious AU factors, which are... quite obvious.

Also, reading on is a fucking pain, but the first two of three pdf files for book four weren't working. :(

I started my seroquel last night and omg actually got to sleep. It was amazing.

Sep. 18th, 2007

Why would anyone want to comment on a change of CEO? *headdesk*

Also, f-list, help me. There just isn't enough magic in my sex. I need advice on how to use my wand better. :( The HP kind, I mean. Aside from the age old lubricus charm and accioing sex toys, what are some fun things that magic opens up? If it's such an all-pervasive part of life as it seems to be (though I do mock the fact that pretty much every song title in the books has to scream OMG WIZARDING REMEMBER THIS IS THE WIZARDING WORLD) you'd think there could be some awesome things to use it for in the bedroom.

Terry: I'm going to bring Bico [the kitten] and we're going to watch you [cook], and then I'll teach him How To Be a Man.
Zacharias: Do you think it would help if he had a man to learn from?
Terry: Hey, hey now, I'm a man. I'm a manly man, very hardcore and tough. Like bricks or nails or nails in bricks.
Zacharias: That sounds uncomfortable.
Terry: For the brick, or the nails?
Zacharias: Depends how hard you hammer the nails in.
Terry: Pretty hard, I bet, but not too hard otherwise the brick would break, and that would be a really bad analogy or metaphor or whatever it is I was making if the tough brick broke.
Zacharias: Obviously it's all in the technique. Of hammering.
Terry: Yes. I've got an ace hammering technique.

Oh boys.

Sep. 14th, 2007

Something DREADFULLY FUNNY has occurred

Sheena showed me what she has of Terry's bio. This was bound to be dreadfully funny anyway, despite the fact that I only had view access on gdoc and not edit so could not insert witty margin-notes, but it was only heightened by this:

Wand: 12 inch apple dragon's heart string

What is so funny about that? you ask. And well you might, for unless you are cunningly stalking me you do not know about the page I have, the page that includes the following notes:

- former house: Hufflepuff
- sexuality: Gay, but closeted.
- wand: Apple, 11 3/4", dragon heartstring
- occupation: Ward-caster

Terry's is a quarter inch longer. Zacharias says that this is because Terry has more to compensate for.

naughty )

Sep. 2nd, 2007

Bring back the porn!

It is possible that I'm sort of a procrastinator. I got up at 2 am Sunday the second, loaded my f-list and went, "Oh yeah, Bring Back The Porn is on. I should do something about that."

Now, on my computer I have a folder called "writing", containing completed short stories, scrips and scraps, overly-ambitious WIPs and notes that have long since lost their meaning. In this folder was the beginning of the scene that follows. What I feel I should tell you all is that I never meant to finish this. It's highly problematic, because it was just a mental image that leapt into my mind one day, which means I never consciously decided what to do about Terry's characterisation. I didn't deliberately make him like [info]quitedreadful's portrayal, and I didn't deliberately change him to avoid the, you know, character swiping. If I did deliberately aim for Sheena's Terry, I wouldn't want to write from his POV, but this scene requires Terry's POV. So, even though I've finished it, it has no name, I'm not posting it on my creative journal, and I have to say please don't reproduce it anywhere.

And yes, I do realise that that is a stupidly long disclaimer for a piece of pure PWP.

It sort of felt like Terry should have been surprised to find Zacharias on his doorstep... )

Aug. 14th, 2007

Oh noes!!

Your LiveJournal paid account for user "overparanoidaboutstalkers" is expiring in 12 days,
at which time it'll revert to its previous status.

To keep using all the cool features of your paid account, you have two
options to renew...

Yes. Let me run and fetch my credit card, right away!

Edit: I am reading old RP to cheer myself up a little (though by now I've practically memorised half of it, it's slightly depressing) when I came across Zacharias being INCREDIBLY MELODRAMATIC over his best friend sleeping with his ex.

I have been grieviously betrayed. The sting of this treachery has taken root in my very heart and I can feel it festering, its poisons leaking out and slowly killing me from inside. Soon I will be nothing more than an empty husk, numb to what remains of my deadened emotions, wandering the earth and uttering nothing but a low, keening wail that strikes all who hear it down with bitter tears and melancholy they know not the cause of.

Never mind.

Alcohol is demon-water, the liquid form of the devil himself. It turns good men (and women) into downtreading lowlifes, honour into betrayal and beauty into the most vile form of ugliness. I am bitter and forsaken, and I want a drink.

On writing

I just added half a dozen odd fics to [info]keisarmy. Only the ones I don't hate. :P I reread them all as well, which was fun. There are some I wrote before Half-Blood Prince came out. Nothing older than that, I think, though I'm pretty sure I do have things that were post-GoF, just, uh, not good ones.

The funny thing is, despite being a rabid Zerry-shipper these days, my three favourites are Dancers (Zacharias/Daphne), Glow (Cedric/Zacharias) and A Good Run (Zacharias/Ginny). Though the hints of romance in Dancers and AGR are very very minor parts of the story. They're also part of the quartet of short stories that were Zacharias+otherpersonfromoneofthe houses - A Good Run for Gryffindor, Flight for Hufflepuff, Chicken Scratch for Ravenclaw and Dancers for Slytherin.

Then I wrote Really Good Quidditch Players and had two for Gryffindor, which wasn't nealy as pretty. :P Re-reading that made me remember my plotbunny for Hermione and Zacharias at the Slug Club Christmas party, though, which was not so much going to be a sequel to RGQP because they're a lot more civil at the party than would follow after how he responded to the invitation.

Really I just like Zacharias when he's antagonising people and being a brat.

It's fun watching how writing style changes, though. In some of the pieces for [info]30_somethings there are comedic asides, the whole mood is quite light-hearted. Like, "Anthony appears not to find this amusing. Really, Zacharias thinks, he is incredibly under-appreciated." Whereas when I read AGR and the older fic like that, it's a lot more emotive and somber. There aren't so many quips, extra details and things. It's a lot more upfront, without the subtleties and different layers. Which isn't a bad thing - I still like AGR, I still like Glow, I'm still getting feedback for Glow. It's just a different style.

I have definitely grown as a writer, though. I think this is really just a sign that I have more range now. I can write quiet reflection, I can do Daphne's moral dilemma on whether to choose idealism or her family, I can do the resignation and defeat of Zacharias when faced with his only visitor after the final battle, or Terry's quiet hopefulness and reading too much into things. But I can also do the magic of going to the Yule Ball with a boy who seems so incredibly sure of himself, and wondering why he asked you because that's everything you're not. And I can do Zacharias' more usual quirkiness, coping with stress and indecision the only way he knows how, by making himself into something larger than life and inherently noticeable.

Of course, I still struggle madly with anything that's longer to write than one sitting, my plots are weak and my endings leave a lot of things wide open and loose threads everywhere, but you know, that's okay. Because everyone has more to learn, and I'm only 22, and I have time to either figure out how to fix that stuff or refine the art of writing in a way so that it doesn't matter, to just avoid my weaknesses and focus on my strengths instead.

And the continuity in my [info]30_somethings is absolutely horrid. Zacharias' father has two different names, he and Daphne are happily (or not) talking about letters from her parents a few scant weeks after his father dies, and there's mention of his father going into St Mungo's for some unquantified illness but he dies as a victim to some kind of violent crime. So, you know, pretty much all of it's related to his father. :P A. Smith interferes with the space-time continuum!

And, uh, this was going to be a couple of sentences about re-posting fic, and instead has gone off on rambling tangents about writing. Terribly sorry.